Rainbow

OK, so it has been a while since I've updated my blog. Almost a month, that is according to my sister Niel. Well there is the 'Better Days' entry but he refuses to acknowledge that as a valid entry. See according to him and his set of Rules of Blogging, 'Better Days' is just posting of lyrics to a song and unless I wrote that song, I cannot claim it as my creative effort. Therefore, he disqualified 'Better Days' and demanded that I need to blog again for my 'fans'-the people that frequents this blog. Well I think his demand is whack, since I think my 'fans' consist of only him and another sister, Fei Mui. Both that knows everything since we talk like everyday, either on the phone or the net. So if there is indeed some other 'fans' out there, do leave a comment now and then ya!

Anyway, that is not what this entry is about. This entry [literally quoting Mimi here] chronicles my emotional rollercoaster ride for the past year. To make it simple, it has certainly been the most difficult year that I've been through. Of course there is some good days here and there but the bad days far outnumbered the good ones. And I think it started when I failed my certification exams last year.

Well I was always aware of how difficult the exam is. Or rather how difficult it is to actually PASS the exam. With an average of 20%-30% passing rate each year for the damn exam [Mind you that percentage includes conditional passes too], you will know too. But what that I'm not aware of is the extend of damage that failure caused me. It caught me off guard and I became depressed. I was lost, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to give it up but I was forced to give it one more try.

So I sat for it again this year. Which is much more difficult than the first time. No not the exam itself but rather the period prior to it. It is just simple logic, I'm not doing it willingly and hence I am not happy doing it. Not to mention the pressure. Everyone seems to think that since I'm doing it the second time it should be easy. Easy because I'm studying the same thing again and I should be familiar with it. I was so pressured and stressed by it. I cried in bed so many nights just to get myself to sleep. And it got worst the week prior to the exam. I freaked out every other minute and I cant eat, I lost 5kg in a week without exercising.

But now I'm finally able to smile again. Well a conditional pass is as good as a pass for me. At least I've been given a second chance and I'm gonna make sure that I make good out of it. Because I've never felt so relieved for so long. And I would not want to go though all that ever again. So I guess Mimi is right, a rainbow do appear after every storm, if you look hard enough.